thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
