He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
