To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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