Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
