Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
