He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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