We won't sleep together?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
