we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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