talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
