Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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