I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
