i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think I won the penis lottery.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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