Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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