there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize