trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
