i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
