I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
