only you would photoshop your dick
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
