Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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