You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
