Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
