If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
