Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize