I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
