I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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