something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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