Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize