Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
