Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
