ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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