I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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