You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
