five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
