He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
