meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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