yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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