Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize