Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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