you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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