i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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