Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
