Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
is it fun? or sober?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
