my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
