You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
