It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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