Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
