Nicole vs. Life
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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