the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
