Christians are straight up FREAKS
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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