i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
