White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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