WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
