i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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