I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Randomize
