your parents love me but you hate me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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