3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
