Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
