forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
