haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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