why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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