and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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