I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
